At other times in shorter term, more severe forms of bondage, the reality of ever increasing restriction is quicker in manifesting itself. I MUST endure it. I am forced to live with it--in it. I abandon myself to a fate totally beyond my control. And the deeper the restraint infuses my spirit, the more it liberates, and, yes, gives me freedom!

And all the time there is stirring warmth, a sense of unutterable joy in my loins. An initial erection may subside and re-surge, but constant tumescence bears witness to that joy. Actual orgasm, though eventually desirable, is now unimportant. The whole trip is an orgasm.

Right now, as you hear this, I've been immobile for a while, and I occasionally drift away from the consciousness of my surroundings. I'm not in a total sensory deprivation situation, but my senses do turn off from time to time, and I'm left with only the struggle of my mind to come to terms with isolation and discomfort; to transcend, and be released from pain by the sheer force of my will. I'm proud to be here. I'm not an exhibitionist, but it turns me on to know that the person displayed to you inside this confinement--suffering, struggling, exhilarated and satisfied--is me. The more I'm bound, the freer I feel. I'm glad to have others know this.

Bondage means different things to different people. To some it's the means to an end; to others, the End in itself. It's as awesomely beautiful to behold as it is to experience, which explains why many Bondage addicts can successfully administer as well as receive it. It's esoteric as well as erotic, mental as well as physical.

It's been described as a Heavenly Hell, and can be so when seriously employed on its own, or in conjunction with disciplinary treatment, humiliation, Corporal Punishment. But tonight we are considering Bondage as the core, the essence of any S/M situation.

True Bondage is inescapable Bondage. It is when another man puts me into restraints from which I cannot free myself. The man who binds me, binds me to himself as the instigator and perpetrator of whatever agony and ecstasy is to follow. I start by indulging in fantasy, then grow inward, and finally retreat from superficial reality into true reality. If we understand each other--if we have a rapport, he may then want to take me deeper, and as I approach my endurance limit, he will help me to steel myself against the panic. The ultimate, and most rewarding aspect of rigid bondage, for me, is that moment when I feel that I cannot endure another second of the restraint, and I cry out for release. But He, my Control, is there to guide me through the barriers of my limits.

I would not want to fail that man, much less myself. He would know that I always try not to use a release code--that despite my pleas and whimperings, that his is the judgment, his the decision. Then, my "Thank you, SIR" for the trip from Heaven to Hell and back would be heartfelt and sincere.